Everywhere I Don’t Want To Be
When we got up this morning she had taken sick. Fever, aching, and chills. Our youngest hasn’t been feeling well and we decided both of them should stay home. The wife had no choice; a fever puts her out of work during regular times with her being in home health. She went for a Covid/Flu/RSV test today. One that has to be sent off and isn’t coming back for seventy-two hours.
She’s feeling much better right now. Still achy, but the fever is lower, possibly gone. She has an appetite. She’s not experiencing loss of taste or smell. She has been prescribed medicine.
We are nervous but hopeful.
I didn’t want to be at work today. I took solace in the fact that my son was home with my wife.
If there is one thing that kid loves more than video games, it’s his momma. He took care of her. I asked him to watch over her today. He had the house.
And it turns out that he checked on her so much he aggravated her. 😏
Love will do so many things to you. It will make you happy, sad, mad, and glad. It will take you to your highest and lowest points at times.
It can make you feel absolutely helpless. Our love for our children has taken us to our lowest points at times together. One moment in particular when he was still a baby.
Today I had to go through a low point alone.
But in your lowest of places, you realize things.
There’s loving someone, and then there’s being in love with someone. There’s a difference.
And that difference is that you’d do anything, trade anything for them, up to and including your own life.
If someone were to take her or hurt her, you would never hear of them again. I would obliterate not only their body and spirit but their history. They would never exist.
I would tear the world open to get to her.
But today, I was helpless when she told me her doctor was leaning towards Covid.
She has been vaccinated. It’s a requirement for her job. She made that decision with my input. She loves her career. She’s one of the few people I know who decided early in life (six years old) what they wanted to do because of an experience, and here she is, a physical therapy assistant.
She didn’t want to take the vaccine because of other medical concerns. But in the end, she did.
And now I’m helpless. Feeling like that was a bad decision.
Another part of our decision was that I wasn’t taking the vaccine. I’m basically just a healthy person. Nothing keeps me down long.
And if the worst happened due to being vaccinated or unvaccinated with all the questions surrounding both states, the kids would have one of us.
Yep, love will put you in strange places.
Sometimes it’s in the middle of a Walmart while you’re working, and you break down a bit.
And since you’re on your knees and your head is down anyway, you pray.
That’s it. That’s the post.